Its time

This absolutely precious ticker from the Lilypie website was actually the one I used for Kaylie's "corrected" age. For those new to my site the corrected age is used for a child that was born premature and in Kaylie's case her corrected age (which is based on your original due date) was 12 weeks. That means she was not expected to meet certain milestones as a May baby but as a baby that had been born on August 8th which was her corrected age.

I am not going to lie...this is a hard thing for me to say but I am officially stopping this ticker and only using the one for her real age. Doctors and therapists stop correcting at the age of one but for some reason I was not able to get passed this and thankfully I didn't because the majority of preemies have not caught up by the age of one. If you compare a May baby to someone else's baby their is a huge difference and as a parent you do not want to have to worry about what your child is or isn't doing compared to another child when it isn't really a true comparison.

So that being said...in the past year our child has accomplished more than we could have ever imagined. She not only caught up cognitively but went ahead. She still has some delays (especially in feeding and sensory) but that is nothing compared to where she was. It always brings a smile to my face when I hear one of her therapists tell me they once feared for her and what she was going to be able to do and has far exceeded what their expectations. I can not hear that enough. That is definitely the fighter in her.

For a preemie parent having their child turn three is incredibly scary. Three is when a preemie parent loses their early intervention that you have relied on for so long and have to find a way to transition to something new. Since this is such a huge transition time I realized it was time for me to transition as well. My child is a preemie but that no longer defines who she is. She is a three year old. She acts like one, talks like one, and plays like one. Even her health is the health of a three year old. So many of her major concerns have gone away due to amazing physicians, therapists, and maturity on Kaylie's part. It has allowed us to have a sense of peace restored to our family. This is something we had not had for 2 1/2 years. I realized this peace had been restored when we no longer had anxiety about what was waiting around the corner for us. Getting rid of that anxiety has taken a huge weight off our backs.

For the past few years Jason and I have always tried to stay one step ahead in hopes of eliminating anything that might come our way. Now we are able to sit back and watch as she grows and becomes the little girl God planned for her to be. Her creativity and imagination is a beautiful thing to watch. She swims under water and loves to jump into the pool. She is a master climber and loves to soccer kick as she calls it. Her new love is dancing. She has friends that she loves to play with and absolutely enjoys learning soaking up everything she can. When she doesn't want to do something she acts age appropriately and throws an age appropriate tantrum. She is truly the definition of a three year old.

As I watch her I realize how blessed we are to have this miracle child and am grateful for every new thing she does. We still have things we are addressing but I will take these things over the things we have left behind.

So...it is time. It is time for me to let what happened three years ago go. I can not live in the past of what has already happened. That stuff is in the past and not the future. I have a beautiful child that is here and is thriving. I no longer need to hold onto the what ifs and the what could have happened. All I need to know is that she is happy and incredibly healthy. For that I thank the Lord!